I know it is hard to believe but YES, I got an ORGASMIC BIRTH! I literally DANCED my baby down! People around me know that I am passionate about birth and pregnancy, and since I found out about orgasmic birth I was preparing myself to get one! I mean, who wouldn’t want to get waves of pleasure instead of waves of pain during childbirth?
But, childbirth is full of surprises and we do not always know how it is going to happen…
I had planned to give birth at home, for the comfort and intimacy my own home would provide but my baby wanted to stay a little longer. I knew I could give birth at home only if I was giving birth before 41 weeks and 5 days, after that my midwife wouldn’t support me birthing at home. I must admit the week of being overdue was not easy for me, everyday wishing that this was the day.
I got sad about the idea that I may not give birth at home… I so wanted it. So I walked 7 km, drank litres of sage tea, made love… and finally on 41+5 (the last possible day to get a home birth!), I got the first waves! I was so happy to finally feel the waves increasing in intensity. At 22:00 I figured out it would be good to get some rest before the party really started so I prepared everything in my cosy living room; a lot of candles, plenty of sheets, plastic protection, buckets, and went to bed. Only to wake up the next morning with no waves at all!!! My body had rested and everything stopped! I had to accept that I would not be having a home birth this time.
At 41+6 the public hospital called us, telling us we needed to monitor the baby’s heart rate. But I know that in France they induce at 41+6 (by giving oxytocin). I really didn’t want that! (induced births are known to be faster but more painful). My midwife had already confirmed I couldn’t birth at home, so we got ready and went to the hospital. They gave us a nice room called Jade, with a big bath, big bed and long sheets that hung to the ceiling (they would be my best friend later). We were quite glad because we had seen this room before and it was super comfortable. Even though I had to definitely forget about my home birth, I was in a good mood!
We crossed our fingers to get Melanie, the midwife we had met before as she was really nice. And our wish came true! Melanie checked our baby’s heart, all was good and she gave us the choice: 1) be induced 2) go home and come back tomorrow or 3) try a sweep. We decided to try the last one. Basically it would involve Melanie putting her finger through the cervix and try to unstick the layer above it – it is kind of a natural inducement. For a third of cases it doesn’t do anything, another third it can provoke contractions but no real labor, and the last third can provoke the labor.
So here she goes deep, and while I was breathing through, Melanie was saying nice things like “It’s OK, almost done”. Once finished, Melanie told us to grab something light to eat (I ate a big hummus bagel, but shhh…), have a walk and come back after 1 hour, to see how it’s going. During that hour, I knew we would be staying the night. The waves started… easy, small waves, that picked up in intensity but not painful at all. We came back to the midwife and she was sceptical about whether the labor had started. “You are smiling too much” she said. I told her I knew it had started and that I can smile and be in labor, I had trained with hypnobirth for that.
The midwife checked me again, and accidentally scratched the water, just a bit, I was fine with that. She proposed to do acupuncture, a “natural” method to help the process to get into labor. She put a few pins in my hands, feet, and legs, into some energy points. After that we went walking again, it was 18:00. At that point I was sure I was in labor, the waves were more intense, lasting longer. We walked through a sport field. And the dance started…
In order to surf the waves and to make them feel good in my body I had to dance some kind of a slow tribal-sexy dance. As soon as the wave was coming I was moving my hips around, bending, looking for the right spot. The feeling was EXACTLY like when I have deep-intense sex (I guess because we touch the cervix) and when we don’t know if it is pleasure or pain but it is still good. Girls, you know what I mean right???? I couldn’t believe it myself! It was an orgasmic feeling! I had to move, to moan, and most important to be free to do so!
We walked to a small wood, and I started to grab the trees. At some point, I was on all fours and told Vlad that it would be the perfect place to give birth, but I had given my word to the midwife not to give birth outside 🙂 We went back in to our Jade room at 19:00, I prepared candles, essential oil, and Vlad put some Jack Johnson on. The party had started. The waves were getting high and big, and I was getting high too, my body flowing, dancing, enjoying the intensity. From time to time, I kissed my husband passionately and went back to the long sheets hung to the ceiling. It helped me to squat, to swing. I pushed the table out of the way in order to watch the sunset.
During the waves, my secret was to move, get into myself, concentrate, follow the sensation and visualize the opening. But between the waves I was very lucid, I could talk like I do usually, even joke. The intensity was making me go deeper each time, but I did enjoy it! I felt sensual, sexual, powerful and beautiful!
20:00, Ben Harper is on now, a new midwife came in, very sweet and nice, called Anne-Sophie. She just came in from time to time to check on us, most of the time we were alone. I danced. Not caring about anybody, I was kissing Vlad when I felt the desire to do so. I asked for meditation music. The waves were nonstop now and the midwife proposed to monitor baby’s heart, I told her ok but I may take it off if it bothers me. Not long after that, the first pushing wave surprised me and literally pushed me on the bed on all fours, disconnecting the monitor.
At that point I thought, alright now the real thing is starting! For my first daughter Alyssia’s birth, the pushing phase was the toughest, and lasted maybe 30 minutes. Her head going up and down like a yoyo. They had put me on my back and were telling me to hold my breath and to push. It was not pleasant.
This time no one told me what to do, I just felt the urge to push. The midwife checked and I was open at 10 cm. She told me that if I wanted to push I could. She left the room, telling me they needed to grab some things to welcome our baby. We were not in the birthing room yet but in the pre-labor room. No time to move anyway, because baby is coming now!
I squatted, put my hand on my vulva and knew the baby’s head was not far!
Here, I thanked the high intensity training I did before pregnancy. It gave me the guts to go through the tough moments.
I also had a better awareness of my perineum thanks to the eBook “Prepare To Push” by Kim Vopno. I felt I would need only a few waves to push my baby out. I was on my knees, half squatting, holding Vlad’s neck. At that time I didn’t feel the orgasmic waves like previously (but hey, I had been orgasming for 3 hours already!), instead a strong and physiological need to push, an intense stretch of my Yoni, and a burning feeling (the epi-no system already trained me to feel this). I vocalized loudly (mouth open = yoni open) and yeah!! the head came out. A pause of few seconds waiting for the next wave and baby’s body followed. It took me 3 waves! 20:55 on the Equinox’s day, one hour before the sun goes into Libra, Ilya was born!
We were amazed about how fast it went! Our angel had finally arrived!
Amandine Polovtseva, mom of two angels, Hatha/Prenatal/Woman Health Yoga Teacher, doula to be, singer-songwriter. I am passionate about life, creation and creativity! Founder of Amma Soul, I want to support women to feel empowered in every stage of their lives; pregnancy, birth, post-partum, menaupose…
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